Storied

Let's Grieve Together

2011-09-11T15:31:00.000-05:00

As I reflect along with the rest of America on 9/11 it still all seems so surreal. The twin towers in Manhattan are no longer there. Planes crashed into them. They came toppling down. 3,000 innocent people were killed. They jumped out of windows, were burned alive or were crushed to death. Those who mobilized on the ground first rushed to the scene, risking and many losing their lives. Remains of 1100 victims were never found. Those families have no where to go to remember a life was lived and then ended. The freedom tower and memorial in downtown Manhattan will hopefully be that place for many of those families.

This is not a day to talk about our politic and what we should or shouldn't do in terms of war. It isn't a day to talk about the administration of our country. It is not a day we should be making mention of Al Qaeda or the presence of mosques at ground zero. It isn't even a day to talk of our fight for freedom. It is simply a profound moment and day to remember those who died so tragically and unknowingly. It is a day to extend hands and prayers in oneness as we do our best to grieve the loss of life that was experienced a decade ago. Anger we may feel. Hopefully not hate. Maybe we feel the depravity of the world. But let's try and grieve. Let's silence our foolish tongues from political rhetoric and vindication. It isn't about that today. Let's be sad. We have good reason to. Maybe the sadness will change us. Maybe we will be motivated to live out the hope we are all so desperately seeking. If we aren't careful we will not only feel the sadness of America on this day, but we will feel the sadness of the world as she groans for redemption; to be made new. For families who have senselessly lost loved ones all over the world throughout space and time in the name of 'peace,' 'freedom' and 'justice.' Let's be sad. Maybe something somewhere will be made new. In Jesus name.

What's in it for me???

2011-09-03T23:23:00.000-05:00

picture borrowed from everydayfunnyfunny.com

When I was younger I was told that Jesus died for me sins. I asked, “Why? Why did Jesus die for my sins? If Jesus is God why did anything need to be satisfied? Who is God to satisfy anyone, not least of all Satan? Plus, it seems like a lot of trouble to go through just for one person. You are telling me Jesus died for my sins so I can go to heaven. But I am sorry. I just don’t quite get it.”

It wasn’t until many years later, when I sat in one of my very first classes at Seminary and the Professor said to the class, “I know we have a tendency to read Scripture as the ‘Jesus and me’ story. But it is actually much bigger than that. It is the story of ‘Jesus and humanity.’” Remarkable. You mean it wasn’t all about me? You mean there is actually a bigger story at play here? Now before you get the wrong idea about what I am meaning to communicate, you must know that I do not wish to take us out of the story, but rather that we may find our place in the great and epic story of God.

I have come to the dark realization that I have fallen prey to making my Christianity all about me. My salvation, my needs, my prayers, my hopes, my dreams, my relationships, etc. Of course, God invites us to share our lives, but there is so much more at play than just ourselves and getting our needs met by God. God has indeed saved us and delivered us from ourselves. We have been empowered by the Spirit to, literally, be Jesus to the world (!) Why is it that we feel the need to go to an altar every chance we get in order to be delivered from some sort of struggle? We pray and ask God to move. We beg God to do something. Yet God has done the greatest thing he could ever do: God has incarnated him/herself into the person of Jesus Christ in order to start this project of new humanity to be carried out by the church that would be empowered by the third person of the trinity, the Holy Spirit. Yet we still find ourselves a broken and crippled people; unable to offer the world much, let alone a chance to experience a new kind of kingdom.

A favorite story of mine…Mark 1:29-34, Jesus enters the house of Simon and Andrew. Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever. Jesus went to the woman, took her hand and lifted her out of bed. The text reads, “Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them.” WOW! So powerful. Jesus healed her and she immediately got up and started serving him. Why can’t we be more like that? Jesus heals us and makes us whole and we immediately start serving him by serving those whom he resides in (which vis-à-vis Matthew 25 happens to be ‘the least of these’). Interesting. We don’t hear stories of this woman going back to Christ again and again begging him to heal her because it didn’t quite stick the first time. Or perhaps she was so busy serving him that she had no time to think about falling prey to fever once more.

This idea of individualism that has permeated the western church is subtle and deceitful. Jesus has saved you, indeed. But your salvation isn’t designed for just you. It is designed to make us people of God in order for us to join in the recreation of humanity and the world.

In Luke 3, John the Baptist is questioned. “What then should we do [to receive the baptism of repentance]?” John’s reply? “Whoever has two coats must share with anyone who has none; and whoever has food must do likewise.” Wow, John. We don’t like this. Not sure what to do with this. This sounds like a works oriented sort of a gospel. WRONG. John is not saying that simply doing these things will save us. What he is saying is that if we truly have the spirit of repentance in our hearts then it will be apparent. If we have two coats, we will give one away to the one who has none. If we truly have the spirit of repentance in our hearts we will feed those with no food.

If, we as Christians, say we have Jesus in our hearts, yet do nothing in bringing the kingdom in a way that is apparent and real, then do we really have Jesus in our ‘hearts?’

Jesus did die for my sins. The spirit of God does live in me and is manifested stronger when I take part in community, as the Trinity is community. Yet the Son of God died so that we could be made whole in God in order that we might bring the Kingdom of God to the world. Jesus died so we could be free to live as God intended: in full relationship with God and in full relationship with one another. And what does that look like when it hits the ground…well that is another blog post… J

Community life...in the beginning

2011-07-13T16:03:00.000-05:00

For those of you who may not know, my husband and I are now living in community with our good friends Luke and Janelle Frederick. It all started a bit over three years ago when Janelle and I first learned of Shane Claiborne and 'The Simple Way.' We thought it was the most peculiar, most revolutionary thing we had ever heard of. We never imagined that less than four years later we would be living together as married couples as a result of the inspired moments we shared that very fateful evening. Throughout the last few years we dreamed with our spouses what it would be like to forsake the traditional life of house, stuff and more stuff. Well if you have read my last few blog posts you know that this year we decided to make that dream a reality. So here we are. Two and a half weeks into community. People keep asking how it is going. All we can really say is, just fine. We haven't lived together for very long, but so far we have sat around a dinner table about 4 nights a week, had a beautiful meal and talked about our lives and our days. Janelle and I take weekly grocery trips as we do our best to buy food that all four of us will eat and enjoy. All food that is bought it bought communally. It is an interesting thing to share grocery money. A good kind of interesting. It is actually really refreshing. This being the very beginning, we are still in the process of decorating. The greatest thing about the decor in our home is that it is a complete marriage and overlap of the things both couples own. We enjoy rooms where both couples are equally represented. These things might sound surface and superficial, eating and decorating, but they actually represent much more. A life shared with all things done with the community in mind. Yet somehow we all feel comfortable and welcome in this home, in our home. For all who might be interested and intrigued...thanks for reading.

Otherness, Oneness and Ourselves

2011-06-03T22:52:00.002-05:00

Tonight I went running/walking around Lake of the Isles, as I usually do on dreamy summer nights. I hate to run but I am so motivated knowing all the beauty I will be surrounded with as I make my way around the Isles. It is truly one of my favorite places in the Twin Cities. No matter what time of day you go to Isles there are always people around. Maybe lovers under a tree, or someone reading a classic on a blanket. Sometimes friends will be picnicking or walking their dogs. Many times there are others running just like me. You can't help but meet eyes with a variety of people unless you deliberately look away (which some people do). I always prefer to lock eyes. For some strange reason I feel more human as my eyes connect with the otherness present in someone else. Mostly, because for a brief moment in time, we both find that there isn't as much otherness as we thought but rather a reconciling grin. It is almost as if you have found another friend in that moment.

Today was no different. I ran along with my Ipod blasting none other than U2 when I noticed a couple coming towards me. They were Middle Eastern and both were wearing traditional, conservative Muslim dress. The woman in specific was wearing a Khimar. It is the sort of dress that covers a woman from head to toe and only the woman's eyes show, as the veil is draped right under her eyes. I am trying to be as descriptive as I can and I am sorry if I am not using proper terminology. As they walked towards me, I immediately became angered. Today in Minneapolis it was 90 degrees and extremely humid. At times it was difficult to breath. Here this poor woman is covered from head to toe in black veils. I wanted to run up to her and rip it off and cry. That might seem dramatic but that is how I felt at the moment. However, I knew there was nothing to be done. This is a culture, a tradition and a faith. I did, however, ask myself, 'what can i do in this moment to extend friendship to this woman?' Now just as a disclaimer: I am not saying that this woman was being abused or forced or that this was a terrible thing even. I simply felt bad because it was so incredibly hot. Anyway, in that moment, I stared at her until I caught her eye. She looked at me. I smiled and nodded and fanned my fingers in the air for a slight, timid wave. As she stared back I saw the skin around her eyes raise slightly as she smiled at me with her eyes. I unfortunately was not able to see her beautiful mouth that was concealed by her veil, but like I said I knew she smiled back at me. And just like that our moment of connection was over. We had passed each other. Her eyes were warm and tender and inviting; there was a hospitality put forth in both of our glances.

We sensed each other's otherness and felt right at home...and it was only a moment!!!! Could you imagine if we had more than a moment??!! What could we do with 'more than a moment?' All of us?! If we can truly feel oneness with a person who is so different maybe the thing is...we just aren't as different as we thought. And I love that and I dream of it.

Our House of Dreams

2011-06-01T23:31:00.001-05:00

So...this is somewhat a follow up to my last blog. I received a lot of good feedback, however, I did have one honest friend who said, 'Maria, I was waiting for you to say what you intend to do about all the talking.' I thought to myself, 'But I don't have all the answers. I just have the answer for me and 'me' is not enough.' I thought some more about this and while I don't have the answers that will solve all the problems I addressed in my last blog, I have decided to share with all of you what we (Matt and I and some of our friends) intend to do about it.

Probably, about four years back my friend Janelle and I started reading Shane Claiborne. If you don't know who he is just google him and if you go back far enough in my blog you will get to 'A Politic of Peculiarity' which was inspired by Shane's book Jesus for President. Anyway, he lives in community in a large house in inner city Philadelphia. He is a social activist, author and preacher and while he is extremely radical in so many ways the thing that really made us stop and listen was this whole communal living thing. Janelle is married to her husband Luke and they are both really good friends of ours. We have traveled internationally together a few times, as well as domestically, and I have personally known them for over a decade, my husband has probably known them about half that. We have all talked about living communally in the city together for quite sometime (maybe 3-4 years) and we always just called it a Sunday Afternoon Conversation (a term we coined for conversations which were made up of unrealistic dreams). This past fall we asked each other, all four of us, why can't we do this??? We want to do it, so let's just do it. Since the fall we have had countless conversations of all that would need to happen in order for this thing to work. We hardly told anyone because we knew at any moment it could all fall apart and we wanted to make sure it was a sure thing before we started getting all the crazy looks. ;) To make a long story short, all of our our actions steps and planning paid off and we are moving in together June 15th. Luke and Janelle rented their house out in Shoreview and we have said goodbye to our fabulous, little Uptown apartment.

One of the reasons we used to talk about this so much as a circumstance only found in our dreamy conversations is because it excited us! We were excited about the possibility of living life together. We were desperate to know what it truly means to allow others into your life on an irrevocable basis. We want to know what it's like not to just think or worry about ourselves. We want to feel the strength of rejecting what society says we must have; a house in the burbs, 2.5 kids and lots of stuff. We KNOW that there has to be something more and we want to know what it is. We think looking into the eyes of one another on a daily basis and breaking bread together around a table we share in the house we all live in, might be a good place to start. Luke and Janelle and Matt and I don't want to just live for ourselves anymore. We have all heard the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." Well I say, "It takes a village to do anything great." I think the four of us do community alright at the moment. However, we think we can do it a whole lot better. So here we go. Our attempt at moving the talking to doing. Our house of dreams (which happens to be a 1,600 square foot apartment behind the Walker Art Museum ;). Two couples leaving their loves nests, so cozy and comfy, so safe and lovely, for the hope of something better. The hope of transformation and dying so that we all can live. Live the way we were created to live; not for ourselves.

*Picture of Matt and Luke signing our shared lease.

Is There Life After Talking?

2011-05-29T17:36:00.003-05:00

There are so many young people who are disillusioned with Christianity. They are disillusioned with bad theology, emotional rants, moral failures, refusal to help the poor (and yes it is refusal when one remains inactive), American flags on church altars and the disgusting display of extreme nationalism, church splits, thousands of denominations, inequality, judgment and fire and brimstone, selling Jesus as a commodity to ‘get into heaven.’ I mean I could go on, really. And who can blame us??? We want Jesus; we don’t want church, as history has known her.

Back to the disillusionment…with our broken dreams and frustrated ideals so many of us make the decision to leave the church bodies we are apart of due to the fact that we simply cannot stomach the madness any longer. The bitterness starts to grow and very soon turns into an attitude of a Pharisee. We don’t want to help; everything that has been done is completely wrong; there is no hope and no redemption. We have conversation after conversation about how the church has gotten it so terribly wrong. We write blogs speaking of social justice and against hell. We start churches with coffee shops in them to foster community. But really, what are we doing? We talk a kick ass talk, but what walking are we really doing? We do our best to live our lives a bit differently and try to be apart of communities where we feel we belong and just keep living and talking and blogging. I don’t mean to be too harsh, as all of these things aid awareness and transformation. But how long must one be in a transformation process before one actually does something?

You see us young people who ‘throw down’ still pursue the American Dream (whatever that is). We may package it a bit differently, but the truth is we still want our fancy education, our apple products, our houses, our cars, and our designer beer to prove we can drink and are not legalistic. We still want our titles and we still want to have leadership positions that afford us affluence and influence all in the name of change. We judge you and if we think you aren’t like us you are lumped in the category of those who don’t understand the context of Jesus and what he was really about.

We are so damn good at talking and blogging but what are we really doing that is really all that damn different?! Are we dying so that someone else can live? Are we living on just enough so that we can give the rest away? Are we actively looking for ways to bring justice and peace?

The talking used to be enough. It used to inspire me. Apparently it inspired me to just keep talking. I’m so sick of it. It’s not enough. And I simply can’t go on like this. Everyone is so quick to speak, write and start a postmodern church. Yet communities continue to go without clean drinking water as we drink water out of our ultra cool reusable bottles, people all over the world, not to mention in this country, go without shelter as we own homes with multiple vacant guest rooms, children in Africa continue to be left orphaned or dead from HIV or even a treatable disease as we pay for health insurance that we only use from time to time, people all over the world have hungry families as we struggle to keep from becoming over weight.

Yep. We do a lot of talking and when we take a break from all the talking we go buy the latest technological gadget or run through the drive through or sign a mortgage or take a trip to Europe or whatever…fill in the blank.

Is there life after talking?

picture from :
http://www.mediabistro.com/unbeige/in-brief-object-lessons-trash-talking-tim-gunn-offers-golden-rules_b8592

Inner Peace and Parking Lots

2011-02-21T07:50:00.006-06:00

The last few weeks have been like a whirlwind for me. I have been out of town, hosted out of town guests, attended the wedding of a good friend, wrote, worked and taught...and now here it is: a Saturday morning with just me and my pillow. I was delighted. My husband went out early to run errands, so it was just me and my lovely apartment (aside from the sounds of the city outside my window). As I lay there in bed I reached for two of my favorite books: "The Desert in the City" by Carlo Carretto and "Every Bush is Burning" by Joan Puls. They are old and small, but they are in my top five regarding books that have shaped my spirituality. Because of other academic commitments, it has been quite a while since I have done reading just for me. As I read, I underlined new nuggets I had not yet seen and wrote new observations in the margins. I determined that today I was going to bring the balance back into my life. Today was going to be the day I didn't have to have constant stimulation; Today I wasn't going to drive and change the station a million times; Today was going to be peaceful, silent and contemplative. My husband came home and in hand was my favorite drink from our favorite coffee shop. I asked him if he could not put the television on. He said yes and said he would play his guitar instead. So now I was reading in bed, with my favorite drink, listening to my husband strum on his guitar. Yep. Definitely a great morning.

I eventually got up and decided to do some laundry and go to the grocery. Menial tasks, but ones I enjoy. We shop at the Wedge Coop just around the corner from us. A lot of times we will walk there, however, because the parking is so bad. I don't usually go on Saturdays and now I know why. When I arrived there was not one parking spot to be found. I, literally, drove around the parking lot 4 times. My tank was on empty and I was contemplating just leaving. It was then that I saw a handicap space open. I thought, "I will just be a minute. I only need 2 things. I'll be in and out." As soon as I got out of my car the parking lot attendant asked me if I had a permit to park there. I logically explained the situation to her: "Well, no...but here's the thing..." Well, she definitely got up in my face about it and created some what of a spectacle. "Ma'am I mean no disrespect to you or the handicap people that park in these spots but..." I don't take well to being yelled at. I would have gladly moved my car. I fully understood that I was wrong. But now it was about this woman and how rude and loud she was being right in front of an entrance to a very busy coop. This woman standing behind her, an innocent bystander mind you, decided to fight the injustice of a middle class, white woman parking in a handicap spot by informing me that I "must have some nerve to park there." I walked up to that woman and informed her that "it is unfortunate that she is such a rude individual." Then she informed me right back that I must be "low class to park in a handicap spot." I proceeded to get back in my car, thanking the women for their kindness.

I must inform you that, even though I can be sassy and strong, I am a lover not a fight. I never get into fights. I am not a mean person, nor do I enjoy the conflict. I actually tend to avoid it. It was uncanny. Here I go and purpose that this day will be peaceful and lovely and then this happens. Did I bring it upon myself? Maybe. But still. I was so bothered by that small altercation all weekend. I was bothered because, even though the women were overly rude, I was the one committing the injustice in the situation. These women didn't know me at all, and to them I was just a stuck up snob assuming that I could get away with parking in a handicap spot. I fight injustice; I teach a theology that says make right what is wrong. And here I was so blatantly wrong. We shop at the Wedge almost everyday. Will I see these women again? And if I do, will I want to make it right? Will I even have the guts to make it right? One thing I will not have the guts for ever again is parking in a handicap space.

Here is a tip for you: If you are looking for inner peace, you are not going to find it in a crowded parking lot. Second tip: Don't park in handicap spots if you aren't handicap. Third tip: I highly recommend checking out the books mentioned above. ;)

Paradigms, Paradoxes and Prose

2010-11-06T15:29:00.008-05:00

The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know much at all. There are so many questions I have that I will spend the rest of my life trying to answer and maybe never ever scratch the surface of the answer. Depending on the day, sometimes I am ok with that reality and other times I am not. Most days, amidst the confusion and conflict, I try and focus on what I do know. I know I can feel beauty and pain at the same time. I know I want to really feel. I know I want to bring justice where there is injustice. I know I want to spend my life discovering what it means to be a faithful participant in the people of God. More than just lip service to what we think we know of God; and more than just myself. Although I recognize I don't know much, I do know that it is so not about me. As American Christians, we like to sing and say that it isn't about us, but our lives proclaim a different song. When the apostle Paul writes, "To live is Christ and to die is gain," we aren't really sure what to do with that. When Jesus says, "the greatest love is to lay down your life," we dismiss it as sweet. When John the Baptist says, "I must decrease so that He can increase," we aren't really sure what that looks like in real life. Why is it that Paul says, "when I am weak, then I am strong."

What is it that we are missing out on by not putting ourselves fully to death. Why do we make exuses as Christians? "Yes. I love Jesus. But this is just me; this is just a part of who I am, my DNA." What a load. Yes. You were born into heavy *%$#. But Jesus calls, BE BORN AGAIN. We are promised transformation if we allow all that we are to be renewed. All that we are.

Jesus took all that the world knew and stood it on it's head. He changed everything. He died and was resurrected. Before He departed He charged us. We are to bear witness to the world and announce His resurrection. God relaunched His salvation efforts. Israel was no longer to be the keeper. Jesus fulfilled perfectly what Israel couldn't quite do or be. With each new generation, it is our job, call and vocation to continue on in the project God relaunched 2,000 years ago. But instead we find ourselves too busy caught up in our own individualism that pervaids us and somehow we never make it past ourselves. Our personal salvation, as indivduals, are only a part of the story; not the whole story.

In the 4th chapter of Luke's gospel story we see the narrative of Jesus healing Peter's mother in law. I love this story! She was sick with a fever. Jesus healed her and immediately she got up and started serving Him. When was it that Jesus healed you? When was it that Jesus first empowered you to get up and start serving Him? Or are you still in bed complaining about how the fever isn't all the way gone? Or are you praying that the fever will stay away and not attack you again? Or have you gotten up and started serving Him? How is it that we serve Him you might ask? Jesus Himself said that when we serve the sick, hungry, poor and imprisoned, that we are indeed serving Him (Matt 25). Most of us love to take the Bible pretty literarlly, except when we read stuff like that.

Is it possible to serve people just because we love them? Is it possible to die so that others can live? Is it possible to be weak so that we can testify to His strength in us? Is it possible to go without so others don't have to? Is it possible to live with 4 coats instead of 5 so that someone can be warm? Is it possible to buy an extra bag of groceries so a neighbor can eat a bit better? Is it possible to invite a gay couple for dinner to enact healing and hope as you share a meal? Is it possible to sit down with a homeless person and hear their story? Is it possible that standing for Jesus doesn't involve protest signs or petitions but might be as simple as meeting a need in His name? Is it possible that when speaking of our beautiful Jesus, that being a Christ-follower has more to offer people than just a way of escaping "hell?" Is it possible that it might be our job to bring the Kingdom of God NOW, rather than it just being this future reality. I think it is possible. The famous prophet Isaiah writes that the wolf will eat with the lamb and that the leopard will lay with the goat and that the calf and lion will live together (Isa 11). It is possible to live in a "righted" world. God says we will. But we don't have to wait for it. We have been empowered to announce it and to enact it.

Give it up; hand it over; lay it down.

Let's do it. More than lip service to it. More than just an exciting conversation about it. Live it, be it, embody it. And take lots of peeps with you.

My friend, the Revolutionary

2010-01-03T22:16:00.006-06:00

I have just finished "Revolutionaries" written by new and upcoming author, and more importantly my friend, Matt Brown. Reading Matt's book was one of the more exciting literary experiences I have ever had! I say that because it is exciting and encouraging as a Christian twenty something living in a post modern era, where all is relative, to see a fellow twenty something stand so strongly on such a reality. A reality that most people no longer believe in. If they do believe in such a reality they don't always allow it to transform their lives. Matt Brown has written an incredible book that takes you on a journey through history starting with the life of Christ. He takes you on a narrative adventure through time as he so powerfully tells the stories of those who allowed Christ to radically change their lives and in turn allowing them to change their world. In a time where the stories seems to grow dim my friend Matt Brown has made them alive again through his passionate story telling and his fervor for history. I think most of you reading will agree that it isn't very often we see someone so young with such insight. Matt touches on some of the most well known "Revolutionaries" in Christian history to some of the most obscure. However, unlike most historians he did not just stop there; he did not stop at simply relaying or transmitting the stories of the saints. In the last chapters he calls his readers to action. He calls out our commonalities: our love for Christ and deep struggles in this life. His words jump off the page with enthusiasm at what God is doing around the world in our time, today, right now. He closes with a call to arms. How can we affect our world, country, city? We are called be the kind of "Revolutionary" our Christ was. We have had some of the best examples throughout history. In closing, I would like to mention that in Hebrews 12:1 Scripture reads, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." To my readers-We are apart of a great work that is connected through time. We are not alone in our work or servitude to Christ. Although at times is may feel as though we are. Thank you Matt Brown for calling to my remembrance all of those who came before me, for encouraging me in what God has directed me to do with my life and for being a radical example of a "Revolutionary!"

Order your copy today-you won't be disappointed!

Order your copy of Revolutionaries at RevolutionariesBook.com. You can also buy the book on Amazon.com and download a free chapter or the whole book for the Amazon Kindle or through the free Kindle app on the iPod Touch and iPhone.

Lessons I Learned on the Porch...

2009-09-21T18:26:00.008-05:00

Our friend and neighbor, Daniel, on his porch next door.

Most people work a 40 hour a week job (sometimes more) and they are rewarded with 2 weeks paid vacation, give or take a few days. I have many friends who work very hard at a job they don’t necessarily even enjoy to pay for their vacations; their beautiful homes that they come home to after their treacherous work days; and to get some enjoyment out of life that their earned finances can afford them. I suppose it makes sense. However, when you really stop to think about the whole idea it is really rather bothersome.

Why do we run on the hamster wheel just to escape it all? Our souls long for the beautiful things in life yet we settle for the counterfeit bountiful things in life. If we long for serenity and peace, why do we accept the sinful and pitiful? Someone once said life is full of disappointment. But why can’t life just be full?

This might sound funny to you, but I promise I am going somewhere…Let’s talk about Johnny Depp for a minute. He lives in the South of France with his lover and 2 children. He lives in a very secluded villa where the paparazzi almost never shoot him. He has no desire to make a life in L.A. or New York or any of the other hamster wheels of society. He makes movies and films that he loves and believes in, then goes home to his peaceful villa…or the Island he owns. He seems like he gets it.

The other day I was sitting at the sitting at the coffee bar at Caffetto on 22nd and Lyndale close to our home waiting for a friend to arrive. While I was waiting I struck up conversation with the Barista making my drink. His name is Matthew. He asked me what I was studying and out of that question stemmed a short, but profound conversation. In the course of our conversation he shared with me he had a film degree and a law degree, but he preferred working in a coffee shop in Uptown and selling bags that he hand sows. When I asked him why he said, “I just want to be happy.” He didn’t want his life to be all about the hustle and bustle. He didn’t want to have to strive; he didn’t want to know the feeling of the insatiable appetite for more; he didn’t want to get so caught up in the drive for success that he lost sight of what was really important in life. He said that he came from a family of over achievers and that was the motivation for all of his schooling, but at the end of the day this is what he wanted to do. I was impressed. What courage! To be honest enough to admit what truly made him happy; what he valued in life. What if we all had the courage to pursue something that delighted our souls rather than our wallets?

In the recent weeks Matt and I have had new neighbors move in next store. 2 brothers bought the duplex next to ours and moved in with all their friends. They are young men in their twenties and quite nice and hospitable. A few nights ago I was coming home from work at about 9:30 at night and they were sitting out on their large porch with friends who were over. They had just finished grilling and were relaxing with some beers. We said hello as I walked up to where they were and they asked me if I wanted to sit a while and hang out. I told them I was going to go home and read because Matt was out for the night and they insisted I sit a while. So I did. For a while I sat and talked with this girl to my right. I eventually got to know the rest of the group. Then I turned to Daniel who was on my left, he is one of the brothers who own the home. We started to talk. We talked about the porch and how great it was to have something like this. Uptown is a porch community. It is wonderful to see people out and about with friends and neighbors. Daniel began to talk to me about how much the porch meant to him. He said that his goals in life were different from most other people; He said he really didn’t have very many professional goals. He just wanted to be happy, come home to his porch and do “this,” as he held his arms out to the people merrily enjoying the night. Again, what courage! To boldly admit what you truly want in life and to go after it. Even if what you want is your porch and the community it brings. Almost every night this summer Matt and I have heard him on the porch strumming his guitar, playing blue grass, folk music or any other tune that comes into his head. It’s wonderful and a lovely reminder of the simple, yet satisfying, things in life.

The late Celtic poet and philosopher, John O’Donohue once said that to see a human doing the job that they were created for is one of the most beautiful things to behold. I would have to agree. That’s all I have to say about that.

Do we have the courage to admit what makes us truly happy? Have you found your porch?

Love covers a multitude of sins…including dumbness!

2009-08-20T11:17:00.007-05:00

Last month my Mom came all the way from New York to Minneapolis and spent 6 whole days with me! It was so wonderful to have her here. I wanted her to get a little glimpse of what our life here is like. It has been 2 years since her last visit and a lot has changed. I was glad she was going to be here for a Sunday because I wanted her to be able to go to church with us and meet some of our friends and community there. We can always count on Scott (the Pastor) to speak on issues that are relevant, yet subversive, to our culture. My husband and I absolutely love our church and we were excited to see what my Mom thought of it all. Corner Church is not your average church, although we are all average, common people coming together for community, relationship and Jesus. We meet at Corner Coffee downtown and, together, delve into the Bible and try and tackle a little bit of life over a good cup of joe. The morning my Mom came to visit, Scott had started a new series called “Dumb Christian.” He talked about how, as Christians, we have a lot of “knowledge” but not always a lot of “wisdom.” He talked about how sometimes the things we say and do can, for lack of a better word, make us look “dumb.” He wasn’t trying to turn us all into non offensive, people pleasers; rather he was challenging us to think about the way we handle the knowledge we have and the way we act and represent Jesus in our community. He talked about how people don’t usually ever have a problem with Jesus, rather it is Christians that cause them to reject Him.

That day we were driving home and I happened to see a young man and woman walking down the side walk. I live in Uptown. There are a lot of people walking a lot of places a lot of the time. However, these young people had captured my special attention. The boy had long dark hair that went a bit past his shoulders, a backwards black hat, cut off black shorts and a tan t-shirt with cut off sleeves with words written with a sharpie that read, “Jesus Sucks.” My heart sank as I read it. Anything irreverent, even a little bit (although that happened to be a lot), rubs against my soul like sand paper. I knew he had a story and would’ve loved to find out. We kept on driving. When we had arrived back to our place, I saw these two kids sitting on the Corner. I knew I had to go talk with them. I had to find out his story. I told my Mom to wait for me in front of my house. She isn’t accustomed to doing such random things. I walked to the corner where they were sitting. My first words to them were, “Hey do you have a minute?” The boy immediately responded, “Sure. As long as you don’t want to talk about Jesus.” I couldn’t believe it. There was nothing about me that was blatantly Christian. No Bible in hand; no Christian t-shirt; no “tract;” certainly no halo; what was the deal with that response? I responded, “Actually, I do.” I continued, “I saw you walking and noticed your shirt and I knew you must have a story and I am so intrigued. Please tell me.” The boy started, “Man! Christians are so dumb! Christianity is just the dumbest thing ever! They have done some of the stupidest things!” He began to tell me of all of his unfortunate experiences with church people, the way he had been disappointed, hurt and snubbed. I thought I was going to fall over. Only a few hours earlier we were in church, oddly enough, talking about this very same thing. He then said, “I would love to tell you more but I really have to pee.” I said, “Great! My place is right over there. Why don’t you come in and use our bathroom!” He responded, “Are you sure?” “Absolutely!” I introduced them to my Mom and we all went up to our apartment. As we walked in I said to him, “So it seems to me that you don’t so much have a problem with Christ as you do with Christians. You don’t think Jesus sucks, you think Christians suck.” He looked at me, and it was the most precious thing, with his eyes widened as if he had some epiphany, “Yeah! Yeah! You’re right!” I let them both use my bathroom and asked them if I could make them a sandwich or anything. They said water and fruit would be great. We talked briefly a bit more about Christianity and Jesus. I told him I was a Christian and that I loved Jesus. I said I was sorry for all the awful experiences he has had with Christians. I tried to explain that as much as any of us can love Jesus and strive to be like him, we are all human and incredibly flawed. I said when he finds himself disappointed with humanity to go to the source. He would surely never be disappointed with Jesus. As him and his friend made their way out of our house I urged him to reconsider the writing on his shirt. He assured me he would. I also asked him to stop by anytime; he assured me he would. I felt so privileged to be apart of that moment. When he left our house he seemed in some small way changed. I can’t describe it. His countenance just seemed different. It was wonderful. I love seeing love and care transform people’s reality and experience…even in some small way. The apostle Paul truly said it best, “Love never fails.” 1 Cor. 13:8

You see, it wouldn’t have worked if I went up to him all defensive at his disdain for the name of my Lord. All I would have done is reiterate what he already thought if I demanded he change the writing on his shirt. For whatever reason he extended some trust to me. He came into our home and told me a little bit about himself. We were both changed and transformed in the process. He told me a little of his story and I told him a bit of mine. It was truly wonderful.

I hope to see you soon dear friend…may you sense the true love of Jesus and be able to genuinely experience his love through people and community.

Dear Jesus-Keep him and guard him. Direct his steps. Point him towards You. Amen.

Picture taken from zazzle.com

"Joy" in the Morning

2009-06-10T16:14:00.002-05:00

On Sunday night Matt and I were talking with friends of ours who are considering going down to one car. They don’t often drive alone and she often takes the bus to work. The 2nd car was more of a want rather than a need. Matt and I were astonished. We could never even dream about going down to one car. We both do so much independent driving. Plus, I drive the cutest little mini cooper and I couldn’t even think about parting with her. Well, we got deeper into the “down to 1 car” conversation, and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a terrible idea. My car won’t be paid off for another 4 ½ years and it is more expensive to insure than Matt’s. Matt’s car will be paid off in December. No car payment. Just the mere thought of that allowed us to consider what it might be like. We decided that for a week or 2 we would try and run on one car and see how it works out for us. I decided that since there is a direct bus route running from where we live to my job, that I would be the one to try the bus first. I am from New York and am used to riding subways at all hours of the day and night, but I have never really ridden the bus. I just never saw myself as a city bus person. The night before my first bus trip to my job I had all kinds of anxiety. The morning came quick and it was pouring. I thought, “Ok, maybe we will start the experiment tomorrow.” However, it soon stopped raining and then I had no excuse. I thought about reneging, but the thought of going back on what I said I would do made me feel weak and like a failure. I got myself together, packed a bag like I was going on an airplane, poured my mate tea in my Starbucks to-go mug and headed down the street towards the bus stop. The anxiety continued to mount. What would I see on the bus? Would I fumble dropping all my quarters in the machine? Would people sense I was an amateur bus rider? What if there were no seats? What if the bus broke down? What if…?
I arrived at the bus stop with 2 people waiting there: a middle aged man and an older woman. I asked if I was waiting for the right was and they assured me I was. I started to talk with the lady waiting at the stop with me and told her I was new to the whole bus thing, even though I’m from New York and have ridden tons of subways. We ended up getting on the same bus and talked until she got off a few stops before mine. She was such a pleasant lady and I really enjoyed our conversation. I felt bad because I never got her name. The rest of the trip was lovely, actually. As lovely as a bus ride can be I suppose. We never got on the highway and the driver took the scenic route. It was peaceful and quite distressing (is that a word?). I just got to sit there, drink my tea, listen to my ipod and I was even afforded good conversation. The bus was anything but packed and was quite clean.
The next morning I went back for my 2nd day on the bus. Only this time I was at the stop an hour earlier than the day before. Guess who I saw?! My friend from the previous day! We waved as I walked up and I sat down next to her. We started talking and I finally got her name. It was Joy. How fitting. She truly was a joy and without her my first day on the bus would have been significantly less enjoyable. We didn’t get on the same bus that day; however, I know I will be seeing Joy at the bus stop again. I love life because of the beautiful and seemingly random connections we make with others. I say seemingly random, because while it seems a coincidence…it only seems like coincidence.
If going down to one car means more bus rides, less stress from driving and fabulous encounters with great people…well then…there you have it.

Hopeless Emptiness vs. Fullness of Hope

2009-02-10T21:47:00.003-06:00

About a month ago one of my best girlfriends, Andy, and I went to see the movie “Revolutionary Road.” This is the first time Kate Winslet and Leonardo De Caprio have played opposite each other since the Blockbuster hit, “Titanic.” Of course I wanted to see it! It was a Sunday evening and Andy raced over to pick me up on a freezing cold Minnesota night. I was so glad her car was nice and warm when I got in side. Andy and I usually do this thing where every time we go to a movie the other one gets to pick the film. We switch on and off. Consequently, it was my turn. Andy always faults me in my movie picks. She is right to criticize. It is true that my movie picks mess us up for days. I usually pick a film that we end up thinking about the whole week; something that impacted us so, that we just can’t seem to get it off our minds. However, I quite prefer it that way. I like movies that make me feel something, otherwise what is the point? Somehow my movie picks always end us up at the Lagoon Landmark Theater uptown; the Indy Films or the ones predicted not to be so big usually play there.
Anyway, I could tell from the previews that Revolutionary Road was going to be a good one. From what I had gathered so far from the coming attractions were that this movie was about a couple who somehow how grand dreams of being different from the society they saw around them, yet they gradually and subtly became trapped in the suburban, white picket fenced, 9-5, 2.5 kid, early morning commute life they had always felt so far above. So, yes, I was interested.
The movie was quite good. I would highly recommend it. However, there was something that stuck out to me more than anything else in the film. The lady that sold them their house had a mentally sick, middle aged son. She asked “The Wheelers” if they would befriend him and have him over for supper. They agreed. When this woman comes over with her husband and son “April and Frank” (Kate and Leo) break the news that they have decided to start a new life in Paris. Of course this is a shock to all. People just didn’t do this sort of thing. It sounded crazy to everyone they told throughout the film. No one, at all, understood why they would want to do such a thing.
Yet this man who had been condemned to an insane asylum and had been given 36 electric shock treatments, so much so that all the knowledge his Ph.D. in mathematics had afforded him was gone, understood them fully well. He referred to life, as society knew it around them, as “hopeless emptiness.” Later on, after everyone had left, Frank and April looked at each other and concurred that the only one that understood where they were coming from was the one person that society had deemed insane. Interesting.
I am forced to agree with his assessment. Hopeless Emptiness describes the dark disillusionment humans face everyday in the world in which we live. Let’s take a look, no really, let’s just go there for a minute: poverty, human trafficking, government corruption, genocide, civil war, AIDS epidemic, global warming. Let’s get more specific and closer to home: Pornography is an 8 Billion dollar a year business (that is more than Coca Cola), people are loosing their homes every where we look, retirements are being cut in half due to the economy, loved ones dying from cancer…and the list goes on. Ok, now stop. We are disillusioned by what seems hopeless as a society. So what do we do? Well, quite a few things actually. All we really want and are desperate to do is numb the pain. Drinking, smoking-whatever it is you smoke-, casual sex and one night stands, incessant shopping, endless eating? Just fill in the blank. We try and escape reality by way of a lot of different things.
Sometimes the hopeless of reality in the world is too much for even me to handle. I will find myself watching TV or movies for hours on end just to get inside a different story or reality for a little while. I will watch TV/movies to the point where many important things in my life are ignored and valuable time is completely wasted. I blow off responsibilities and commitments all because I just cannot face reality at that moment. That is a huge problem. That is me being real and vulnerable (which I don’t particularly enjoy doing by the way). Yet one thing is the same for all of us. Reality is always waiting for us when we arrive back; the hopeless emptiness we have tried so hard to get away from. Ok now that we are all depressed, don’t stop reading just yet. We are just getting to the good part.
IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT. EVEN BETTER…IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT. Every single thing that is wrong in this world, Jesus of Nazareth made right. Being a Jesus follower does not mean that all the problems in this world disappear, it does mean that we are given new lenses to look at the world with.
There is this fancy word called, Epistemology. It is a philosophical term meaning “knowledge base” or “foundation of knowledge.” As a Christian, you are given a new epistemology and everything we come in contact with is filtered through that epistemology. In Paul’s letter to the Romans, in chapter 12, he urges Christians to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Our God sent Jesus to do just that. Just as the world was corrupted by the sin of Adam, the world was made guiltless in Christ. We no longer have to live with the hopelessness of death and destruction. We have promises of life and newness.
When Jesus was on earth 2,000 years ago He faced all the same issues we do today. He came to a culture that was hungry for political power and wealth, whether it being the Romans or the Jews. He came in a time where hate was a seed deeply sowed throughout society for those unlike you. He arrived to a people that had grown cold to the heart of Yahweh and disobedient to what He had asked of them. For the 1st Century Jewish people life seemed hopeless and empty. It seemed as if Roman oppression was growing stronger every day and the Jews were becoming less and less of the unique people they used to be (if they ever even were).
Jesus challenged them with a brand new epistemology. In John’s account of the Gospel in chapter 10 he tells a story of sheep and a shepherd referring to Himself as the shepherd. He says that all who came before Him are thieves and bandits and that He, Himself, is the only way to be saved from all who come to try and destroy life. Jesus says that He came to bring true life and bring it abundantly. In the 14th chapter Jesus talks about the time when He will have to leave. He tells His listeners that He will leave His peace with them. He assures that it is not the type of “peace” that the world gives, but only a peace He alone can give. He promises the Holy Spirit will come to remind them of all that He has said so they can be comforted, strengthened in their faith and so that they will not forget all He has told them.
Jesus constantly contrasted Himself up against the powers that be; whether it was the political power of Rome or the spiritual powers of darkness and sin. Jesus consistently teaches that He has come to bring a new reality; one that has not been seen before; a reality that will truly deliver, unlike the empty promises of so many before. We must believe in Jesus. We must. He is our only hope in the hopeless emptiness. He is not simply our only hope; He is the fullness of hope itself. Why fullness of hope? For so long God’s people had hoped and waited for a Messiah; the One they had been promised in the Scriptures of the First Testament. Jesus fulfilled every one of those promises. He fulfilled every statute of the Law of God and He fulfilled the insatiable appetite of death itself by rising from the dead. He fulfilled it and defied it. All that ancient Israel had hoped for Christ completely delivered.
I will close with this. In the beginning of 1 Peter the author blesses God the Father of Jesus. He writes, “By His great mercy He has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading.” He writes how all these things are being stored in heaven and protected by God to be given to us. He goes on to write, “In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith-being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire-may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Life in this world is still quite imperfect as we are made aware of every day. Yet we DO NOT have to succumb to the hopeless emptiness any more.
Andy was so mad at me after the movie. She tells everyone I took her to see a “horror film.” She knew it would mess her up for days as did I. I hope Andy and I will continue to go see films that mess us up and make us think. So my question to all of us is: Empty Reality or New Epistemology? Revolutionary Road. Revolutionary. Revolution.

Hospital Visits and Husbands

2009-02-02T19:05:00.005-06:00

Yesterday, February 1st, I turned 26 years old. To some of you reading this that might seem quite young, however, for someone making the transition from early 20’s to late 20’s is it a punch in the arm from reality reminding you how fast time is actually moving. Anyway, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to turning 26. My husband Matt took me out to dinner to “The Sanctuary” downtown Minneapolis on Friday night and then Kasii and Josh took us out to “W.A. Frost” downtown St. Paul on Saturday night. It was turning out to be a great birthday weekend; wonderful food and even better company all celebrating me!
Then I woke up early Sunday morning extremely sick. From about 5am up until Matt brought me to the hospital around 11:30am I could not stop vomiting. I know it sounds gross, but I was very, seriously sick. I have not been that sick since I had food poisoning when I was a kid. I absolutely hate throwing up! It is the worse thing in the world! You know you all agree!
Matt couldn’t have been a better husband about the whole thing. I sent him to church that morning because he had to lead worship in the 2 morning services. I figured I just had a bug that needed to run it’s course and I would be fine. However, by 10:30am I had called him telling him I had to go to the hospital. I just knew it was more than a bug and I could barely walk I had gotten so weak. Even though there was still another service for him to lead worship for he left immediately. He never questioned the seriousness of my illness nor did he ask if I could wait a bit longer until he was done. He put me and my health as first priority. The last thing I wanted to do was tear him away from his responsibilities at church, but I knew I needed a doctor quickly.
He came rushing home quite quickly and took me immediately to the hospital. When the ER finally put me in a bed, I was hooked up to an I.V. and given some medicine to stop the vomiting. I was allowed to rest. It was so nice considering all I had been through. I was there through the afternoon until early evening when I was released. Matt never left my side for a moment. He was so committed to being right there every time I opened my eyes, making me feel safe, loved and cared for.
About 4 or so years back before I met my husband one of my mentors and I were discussing love and marriage. We were talking about what we were looking for in a husband. This mentor is extremely well respected by all who know her and she is someone who many strive to be like. She is an absolutely amazing woman of God and some one I have tried to pattern my life after in many ways. Anyway, while we were having this conversation, she was telling me what she wanted in a husband. One of the things she told me was that she wanted to know that this person (whoever he might be) would take care of her when she is sick. Specifically I remember her saying to me, “Maria I want someone who will hold my hair back when I throw up.” I thought to myself, “Wow.” This amazing woman who is mature beyond her years in so many ways, my mentor who I trust to hear the voice of God almost more than anyone I know just told me she puts a high value on someone holding her hair back when she is sick. I couldn’t believe it. It certainly wasn’t the type of esteemed quality I would expect to hear from such a woman. It made a huge impact on me and what I started to place value on in a future relationship.
The other morning when I started to get sick and was in bed Matt looked at me and said, “Don’t worry I will hold your hair back if you throw up.” He did not mean to joke; he was dead serious. Even though I was sick as a dog, I remembered my mentor’s words from years earlier. They were clear as day. I could not believe it. It was almost surreal. Funny how things work out. Because here’s the thing; it is more than just someone “holding your hair back.” It is the character that he possesses and the love in which he shows. It is the level of commitment and the understanding of the concept of oneness that he enacts. It is simply and precisely the kind of man that he is. That is all I have to say. And of course this…I love you Matt, you are perfect.

“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving…”
Ephesians 5:25, The Message

Logs, Specks and Love

2009-01-17T12:48:00.003-06:00

The other day I was talking with a friend from work. Sometimes she is reluctant to tell me about her life because of the way I choose to live my mine. She doesn’t have to tell me this. I just know that this is how she feels. The other day I called her on it. I told her she could feel free to tell me things and that I wouldn’t judge her. She then said something that keeps ringing in my ears… “Oh Maria, everyone judges.” I told her that wasn’t true and that I do not judge her. It is hard to have deep, meaningful conversations as my job because I work retail and conversations are constantly being interrupted by customers walking in or things that have to get done. Unfortunately, the conversation stopped there.
I suppose what she was saying was true. People do judge others. In Luke’s account of Jesus, in the 7th chapter, right after the passage on enemy love, Jesus urges His listeners, “Do no judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you.” These are super simple instructions, however, super hard to actually execute. One thing that I know about myself is that I require so much grace from others when I mess up, but I am quite unwilling to extend grace and mercy to others. I am not a very patient person. I hate that about myself. There are many times I can see myself getting caught in the trap that society often sets for us and that is that some people are worthy of forgiveness and others simply are not. That is a lie. Jesus Himself put no restrictions on forgiveness, why should we. Sometimes we are too hurt to forgive, too angry, too scared…I don’t know you fill in the blank.
The judging thing kills me though. It goes back to the whole idea of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Instead of trying to understand the circumstances under which someone is acting, a lot of the time we will simply judge their actions as sinful, wrong or evil. God does not classify sin. He does not say the liar is better than the murderer or the adulterer is better than the fornicator. Why do we? If we look in the mirror I am sure we will all find a sinner that has been renewed and forgiven and that will be renewed and forgiven again tomorrow and the next day.
Later in that passage Jesus addresses those he refers to as “blind,” “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.” We all have some type of 2x 4 in our eyes that impair our vision so why are we even attempting to extract wood chips out of someone else’s eye? Is the 2 x 4 worse than the wood chips? Vision is impaired either way.
I am not saying that when our friends live in a way that compromises the integrity of their faith that we sit by idle with hands off in the name of love, mercy and forgiveness. I am saying that anything constructive that you might say about someone’s life and the way they live it does not happen outside of a relationship and love. If you call someone out on their shit outside of a relationship with them they absolutely will not listen to you and you will have contributed to those in my friend’s statement. You will be part of the mass of “everyone judges.” However, when you do life with someone and are in true community with them that is where the transformation happens and love rules. It is there the specks will drop out of every eye because love reigns and it truly conquers all. My friend Scott once said that sharing Jesus cannot happen outside of relationship. Inside relationship and community judgment is replaced by a hand held out and scorn and shame is replaced with mercy and grace.
I have the most amazing friends in the world who aren’t afraid to question me on something in my life. They aren’t scared to challenge me on something they see in me that doesn’t line up with the faith I say I have and it is because they know they can. They know they have a place in my life where there is mutual respect and love. They come not with words of blind judgment and accusation but with understanding and respect.
I want to close with this. As Christians it is not our job to clean people up from the dirt we have deemed on them. It is very much our job, calling and purpose to love them and to show them Jesus. Jesus says at the end of the 13th chapter of John’s account of Jesus’ life, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

A Politic of Peculiarity

2009-01-07T11:52:00.007-06:00

In the 5th chapter of Luke starting in verse 43 Jesus is recorded as saying, "You have heard that it was said, 'you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

It certainly does not take a theologian or an expert in hermeneutics to interpret what Jesus is trying to say here. It is plain as day and something we hear in Sunday school a lot, yet we hardly ever truly observe it. What does loving your enemy actually mean? It might possibly mean that we are to....love our enemy? What if Jesus was dead serious when he said to love our enemy? What does that mean for us? What does that mean for the war in Iraq? What does that mean for our interaction with terrorists groups? What does that mean for civil and human rights issues? What does that mean for the person we split doctrinal hairs with?

In the first testament of Scripture we see the beautiful story of Yahweh's interaction with poor, sorry Israel. Yahweh had called Israel to be a peculiar nation set apart for all the world to see as different. They were to embody the good law of God to the world. They were to enact love upon the nations, with the hope and dream of transforming all they met by their peculiar way of life and their undying, unwavering devotion to their God. However, the sad story is that they wanted to be like all the other nations. They weren't comfortable with peculiarity. They wanted to be ruled by an earthly King; they wanted a temple in which they could worship their God. The rest is theological history.

Fast forward to about 30 AD. Israel had not seen a prophet in about 400 years. They were wondering where their God Yahweh was. They were living under serious Roman imperial tyranny, where they were being completely exploited and taken advantage of. They were under double taxation, which meant they were paying temple tax and imperial tax (and most of the imperial tax was beefed up for the tax collectors benefit). There were laws in place that allowed a Roman Centurion to make a Jewish citizen carry there gear up to a mile. Life was not the best. Israel has it's eyes completely pealed for a Messiah that will bring a military reign and overpower the Empire. They were waiting for a coming king that would scatter their ermines and restore them and their land. So you can only imagine their outrage and shock when Jesus comes onto the scene and powerfully combats their ensnaring questions with answers like, "If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile (Matt 5:38ff)." Could you just see the expression of the religious leaders?! This was not what they were expecting from a Messiah. Not only were they not expecting it, they were completely not accepting of it.

Unfortunately, the results of such advice were not recorded. We will never know what the Roman soldier's face looked like as a Jewish Christian asked to carry his heavy stuff for another mile. It was the law that they were to only to go a max of 1 mile. The carrier would have been asking the Roman to break the law in order that he might serve him more! How radical is that?!

In the above passage Jesus also urges that if someone tries to steal the coat off your back to give them your cloak as well. If you think this type of thing was a secondary aspect of His gospel, and that it isn't all that important or worth taking serious note of, think again. In the 3rd chapter of Luke John the Baptist comes onto the scene preparing the people for the coming Kingdom. He calls his listeners to repentance. He quotes the prophet Isaiah as he hopefully and confidently declares that all will be made right by the Salvation (Jesus Christ) of God. He angrily urges them not to be confident in their Abrahamic blood line-God doesn't care and doesn't need it. The crowd is compelled to ask what they should do. The very first thing John replies with, the very first thing, "Whoever has two coats must share with anyone who has none; and whoever has food must do likewise." They must have been thinking, 'that's it?' Give what I have to the poor. Share with my neighbors and community? Take care of the poor? Really? Yes! Really? You mean it's not sending my money to the TV preacher? Or ordering a prayer clothe? Or evening praying the Prayer of Jabez everyday? Coats? I have a bunch of f#$%ing coats! What am I doing with all of them?!

What if we did live peculiar? What if we did love our enemies? What if we did give ourselves and our lives away? Now I know this may seem a little novel (!), but again, what if Jesus was serious when in the 15th chapter of John he says, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." Isn't that exactly what He did? Yes, it is.

Shane Claiborne likes to refer to the whole loving your enemy idea as "enemy love." What if our nation showed enemy love to people like Iranian President Ahmadinejad or the late Saddam Hussein. "Oh but Maria, those men represent the pinnacle of evil. They must be disposed of." Unfortunately, you don't have to look very far to find prominent religious leaders echoing my satirical statement. I have to say that the Bible I read communicates that NO ONE is beyond redemption and it is a sin to act out a reality that says otherwise. If the twin towers and 9/11 was the first strike at our cheek, what is it next that we should have done? I don't believe that my ideas are radical. They are not my ideas. I am just reading my Bible and believing what it says.

For further study on what I have written pick up a copy of "Jesus for President" by Shane Claiborne

Remembering Him at Midnight

2009-01-04T14:34:00.002-06:00

New Year's Eve has become a bit tired for me at this point in my life. I don't so much like going out because of all the crowds. I don't so much like driving at night because of all the intoxicated people that could potentially be on the road. I will just as soon stay home and have a sweet time with friends and family which is exactly what Matt and I did this year. In the picture the couple to your top right is Luke and Janelle Frederick and the couple next to them is Mark and Ruth Chaplin. Both of which are the dearest of friends to Matt and I. They are truly like family and there isn't anything we wouldn't do for them. Mark and Ruth have been like spiritual parents to us and this was going to be their last night in Minneapolis. The next day they would leave for Spearfish, South Dakota to accept a Senior Pastor position. Throughout the night we ate really great food, had excellent conversation, listened to fabulous big band and swing courtesy of Pandora Radio and just enjoyed time with extradorinary people. Good friends are quite hard to come by and Matt and I are so blessed to have a life filled with people that we can see Jesus in. When midnight roled around I had planned to turn the TV on so we could all watch the ball drop (even though it would just be a replay of what happened an hour earlier in NYC) and toast eachother and the new year. It was about 11:50pm. I hurried to the kitchen to fill up wine glasses with sparkling cider and it hit me. Why don't we have communion? We are with good friends that are part of our life and we are saying goodbye and sending off 2 very special friends. Why not remember Jesus and what was done for us? I filled up the glasses and broke pieces of bread and put it all on a tray as I went back to where everyone was. They looked at me like they knew what I was going to say. I told them that I just got the idea to have communion and everyone agreed that we should. Who wanted to watch a silly old ball drop anyways? I asked Mark if he would lead us in communion. He talked about the importance of friends and community. He talked about remembering Jesus as we are to do when we come together. We prayed and thanked our God for all He has done for us and for our friendships. We honored and praised God for the sacrifice of Jesus. Nothing super formal. Just a conversation between friends about our God and our Lord. It was wonderful. In Luke chapter 22 Jesus tells His disciples to remember Him whenever they get together. I wish I remembered Him more. I wish I spoke of Him more. New Year's eve may become tired and a lot of things may seem old and dull after a while, but my desparate prayer is that the cross and what was done the 33rd year in the life of Jesus of Nazareth would never be tired, but new and renewed again and again.

The Call of Beauty

2008-10-20T17:27:00.005-05:00

Last winter I was driving in my car listening to Krista Tippet’s, “Speaking of Faith” radio program. My attention was immediately grabbed by a quite endearing Irish accent that came over the radio waves. His voice was calming and soothing. He started to talk about beauty as a sort of force from within the world that called to a person. He spoke of the “inner landscapes” of beauty inside the human soul. He named his inspiration for the term the hills of Connemara on the West Coast of Ireland in County Galway. That is where the late Celtic poet and philosopher grew up.
As he spoke my ears were at full attention and my interest was incredibly peaked. “Beauty is a force in the world that calls to us…Humans are the place where the invisible becomes visible…The human soul does not just hunger for beauty, but it feels most alive in its presence.”
That idea resonated inside of me so much! There are so many longings that my soul feels. Yet more than anything, I am inspired by beauty, and not just the obvious beauty of a sunset although, they can be quite breathtaking. However, it is the beauty that I can see in the eyes of a homeless man as he smiles through his circumstances or even the exquisite beauty of a broken heart that causes my soul to be stirred. It is the loveliness of lighting candles just because they make your heart happy or the first tear that falls when you see someone find Jesus. Beauty is found in so many places and so many things. However, one thing can be certain of it…it will call to you even if it whispers from the most unlikely places.
With all that beauty that is so prevalent in the world, there is also an incredible amount of darkness that pervades it. Most of my days are full of struggling to live in that tension. How can I delight in the beauty of a child’s imagination when I know there are millions of children being trafficked around the world? How can I be truly moved by the word of the Holy Spirit coming forth through an individual when there are corrupt preachers scamming for people’s money? To everything good there is also an evil. My Aunt can understand all the woes my soul feels from living in the world and not of it. She always tells me that I want to live in “the garden” (yes, the Genesis garden). This brings me to the obvious conclusion that we were made to live in the garden.
Humanity was made to be in perfect communion with its God. Our souls were made for the beauty of God. Why wouldn’t we recognize glimpses of Him in an instant? We were created for it. However, sin and evil did indeed enter in and humanity was cast out from perfect union. It was then, as N.T. Wright likes to refer to it, that God knew He would have to launch a new project of new creation and new humanity. God knew we would now have to be recovered because He loved us and He refused to be out of union with us.
I love reading N.T. Wright because he puts so eloquently, poignantly and powerfully the language it is sometimes hard for our souls to convey. Mostly because the tension of this world confuses us and makes us feel alone and isolated. Most of us think we are the only ones feeling the things we do. That is a lie. We were made for the beauty of the garden, why wouldn’t our hearts long for it in its absence? There is a lecture that N.T. Wright gave at Seattle Pacific University that I downloaded for free on Itunes. It is called “The Bible and the Christian Imagination.” In this lecture, Wright brilliantly describes the world in which we, via sin, are forced to live in. He states that we live in a world that is, “achingly beautiful and awesome ugly.” What a mouthful! Yes! That is exactly it! That is the tension right there!
In his book, “Simply Christian,” N.T. Wright so poetically and practically brings his readers to the conclusion that Christianity makes sense. I know that is incredibly vague, but you will have to read it for yourself. In the beginning he introduces this idea that, as humans, we all have “echoes of a voice” inside of us. Those echoes are a longing for justice, spirituality, relationships and beauty. Wright constantly reinforces the fact that, as humans, we have this inherent need to see the world set to rights, for justice to be served. We desire to see things that were made wrong, made right. One can’t help but be moved by a child hungry at night or innocent people murdered in Dar Fur. One’s heart is stirred by a couple experiencing miscarriage after miscarriage, when they so desperately want children and would make amazing parents.
Our souls are grieved by a world that has spun off its tilt. We desire a world where things are set to rights. Things were right in the garden. And we feel that, or the lack thereof, everyday. Everything the human soul longs for, God made us for. Here’s where it really gets epic! 2,000 years ago Yahweh sent His only Son Jesus to put the world back to its rights. Everything that was wrong was made right in Him. For he makes all things new as it is written in Revelation 21. We now live in a time that theologians call “the already, but not yet.” Christ has launched new creation, the rescue and recovery of humanity has taken place, God’s Kingdom has been inaugurated, however, it has not yet seen its fullness or completion that is to come in the “new heavens and new earth.” The veil has been torn; we can access God-each and every one of us via the cross. Yet we still live among the debris of humanity’s sin. What an incredible paradox.
The thing I love about the Bible is that it totally reverses that paradox. It answers the why question that is asked in all the confusion…it fills in all the holes if you will…it does so with Christ…check this…
Genesis 1-2 Adam and Eve created in God’s image
…now just a disclaimer on my part…this is meant to be a theological history (the history of God and His character), not necessarily and history of exactly how the world was literally created. We know that God created everything. However, this story is to represent the union of God with humanity, His intention towards humanity and the separation of God from humanity. It sets the stage for the most beautiful story of redemption ever told…
With that being said…moving on…
Gen 2:8-17- God put humanity in a setting to enjoy life with Himself, wholly and fully. There is talk of the tree of Life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Rivers are flowing out of Eden to other parts of the world. God beckons Adam not to eat of the tree of knowledge…however; we know how this story ends…
Jumping forward to 1 Corinthians, Paul writes in chapter 15 verse 22, “for as all die in Adam, so all will be made alive in Christ.” Ha! Look at this Paul is comparing Jesus to Adam; Christ is the 2nd Adam, the new Adam, the new and recreated humanity. What Adam made wrong, Christ made right. Adam let sin in, Christ conquered sin.
Here’s a good one…Paul writes to the church in Rome. In chapter 5 he writes, “For if the many died through the one man’s trespass, much more surely have the grace of God and the free gift in the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, abounded for the many. …Therefore just as one man’s trespass led to condemnation for all, so one man’s act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all.” I love this because Jesus was the missing piece that set all of creation back to rights…
I love this one…In John chapter 20 starting in verse 11 Mary is weeping outside the tomb of Jesus because His body was no longer there. She sees a man, who is actually Jesus, and “supposes Him to be the gardener.” As N.T. Wright would point out, this is a great mistake for her to have made [1] . I guess He was sort of a gardener. Here we see a beautiful reprise of the Garden of Eden being put back to rights.
And finally in Revelation 22 we see the new city of God being described. “Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city. On either side of the river is the tree of life.”

And there you have it. It started in the Garden of Eden, but didn’t end there. Jesus came to inaugurate God’s project of new humanity although its fullness will not come into fruition until the end of the age. Although we long for it to; we have a hope. And our hope is beautiful… “He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.”-Rev 21:3-4

We were made in beauty and for beauty and to beauty we shall return. Let it call; our souls are listening, we cannot help but see it and be pointed to the author of all beauty, our God.

[1] Lecture given at ACU, Simply Christian.

Edward

2008-10-07T23:16:00.003-05:00

My friend Tokunbo and I were out together in Uptown last week. We went to see the movie,
"The Duchess" at the Landmark Theater. I just love that place. It is so old and vintage! Anyway, after the movie we just had to stop in Heartbreakers across the street and of course I just had to purchase this beautiful fall jacket that I saw. I couldn't help it. It called to me. We quickly left the store and were crossing over Hennepin on Lake to walk back to my car. On our way across the busy uptown avenue, a kind, older gentleman complemented me on my boots and jeans. He stated how the length of the jean was perfect for the boot. (they were cropped so they really showed off the boot) He proceeded to ask me where I was from. When I answered New York, he thought that it was obvious given my interest in fashion. ;) The next obvious question is..."so how did you get to Minnesota from New York?" We were walking and talking and then stopped in front of my car and chatted for about another half hour or so. Whenever anyone asks me how I got from New York to Minnesota it is the immediate entry of my faith into the conversation. So Edward, Tokunbo and I immediately start talking about God, the world and the Church. It was an amazing moment because Edward communicated to us how he has basically spent his whole life searching. He has been in and out of different churches, but it has been difficult because of the fact he is gay. He said that he now goes to a church over on the U of M campus, however, he asked me about my church. I told him about Corner Church in downtown in the warehouse district. I have been going there for 3 years, ever since their first meeting really. I invited him and he was very interested in going. Yet, before Edward completely jumped on board he cautiously asked me, "But do they let gay people come?" The question broke my heart. Tears well up even as I re live his voice saying those words in my mind. What have we really, truly done? Jesus accepted everybody and loved everyone. Why do we create so many hoops for people to jump through...so many conditions?! Someone has trained Edward for a very long time to ask that question of us Christians. "Will I be accepted?" Why???!!! We had one command from Christ! ONE! LOVE ONE ANOTHER! How have we botched that one up?! I don't get it. Check out John 13:34-35. They will know we are His disciples by our...LOVE! What an incredible paradox. People are now knowing us by our disdain and intolerance. How scary. Honestly and truly. If we aren't sure how this love thing is supposed to go...1 Corinthians 13. It is all there. All that love is...and all that it is not. I think we have the "is not" part down. I gave Edward my card that night...on it was my email and blog. Edward if you are reading this...I hope to see you soon. You are loved, thought of and prayed for. Thank you for inspiring my writing tonight.

There you are God....

2008-09-18T14:09:00.003-05:00

The following is something I wrote a few years back. However, I just recently read it at a party honoring my Aunt's 50th birthday. I wanted to publish it because I believe it is a beautiful reminder of the ways God reveals himself to us that we don't alway recognize...

My Aunt just gave me her new Life Application NIV Study Bible. She keeps it in her office upstairs in her magnificent home. It is her aid as she writes her books and prepares for teaching. On the lower right hand corner is her name: Kathleen Troccoli. I thought it was so special because she usually goes by Kathy, Kathy Troccoli. No one knows her as Kathleen except close family like my sister and I. Yet she writes the name of her youth on her precious Word of God. The name she was born with, the one God gave her.
To me my Aunt is a living legacy. She is my greatest role model and I am her biggest fan. We aren’t best friends, but she gets me and most of all she loves me. Recklessly and lavishly…a lot like the Lord. My Aunt has been the most influential person in my existence. She understands my ache for heaven because she shares it. She understands my need for fire, color and passion because she cannot live without it. She is strong and soft and incredibly accomplished, yet humbled everyday. Always acknowledging of the Lord with a reverent heart, yet so intimate with Him. She is incredibly spiritual, yet so real. She has 100% of my respect and all of my attention. Thinking about her makes me cry. I am so lucky.
I was in her office, always looking through her books, wondering what she is reading now. I came across some Bibles. I am a preacher (trying to be), so I own several of my own. But the idea struck me: how absolutely delightful for my soul if I could own one of hers. My Aunt will often give me jewelry, clothes, shoes, anything that she might not want, whether she has worn it or not. Sometimes if I really love something that she has, even if she loves it herself, no matter how much it costs, she doesn’t hesitate to offer it to me. Having those things that once belonged to her, as silly as it might seem, makes me closer to her, more apart of her, her life and her legacy.
My Aunt had gone to bed, but I knew she wasn’t sleeping. I scurried down the stairs from her office to her bedroom and crept in. She looked up as I entered. She was in bed with her apple reading away at her latest manuscript.
“Hey Aunt Kathleen, you can say no if you want to, but I was in your office and I was looking at your books because, you know, I’m always interested to see what you are reading,” I muttered nervously, “and I saw several Bibles and I was wondering if maybe there was one that you don’t use so much that maybe I could have?” I paused. “It’s not like I don’t own Bibles of my own, I just want one of yours.”

“You know I get so many Bibles from different publishers” she chuckled. “Which one do you want honey? I just bought a new one. It has my name on it.”

“No Aunt Kathleen, you don’t have to give me your new one with your name on it. Just any Bible that you own is fine. I just want it because it will have belonged to you.” Deep down inside, I wanted the one with her name on it. The thought of having it was inspiring to me. The Bible of my biggest mentor. To behold her name on it, a life transformed encompassing everything I hope to be. The gloriousness of God in a woman, in a life. I would be reminded of it every time I looked at it. She asked me to run up and get the Bible. I brought down a few I saw. She grabbed the one that said Kathleen Troccoli, the one I had wanted, the new one. In her nightstand she had the exact same one that someone had given her, only it did not have her name on it. She said if I wanted, she would emboss my name on it. I said it didn’t matter which one she gave me even though I knew exactly the one that I wanted.

“You pick Ri. Which one would you rather have?” she asked lovingly.

“The one with your name on it Aunt Kathleen, I rather have the one with your name on it” I gently answered.

Without any hesitation at all, she handed it to me. I took hold of it. I felt like Timothy taking Paul’s copy of the scriptures. It meant the world to me.

I love how she loves me. She isn’t afraid to risk with me. She isn’t frivolous or frugal when it comes to investing into my life and soul. I know she will always be there for me. And even though she might not always have the answers for me, she confidently points me in the direction of the One who does.

I often wonder if my feet are big enough to follow in her footsteps, upon the trail she has blazed. I know it has hurt her at times, walking through such a fire, but oh to behold the refinement. It is everything I didn’t know existed yet I see it in another human being so close to me.

One of my biggest aches in my Christianity is not being able to behold God as flesh and blood. Oh the pain of not having Him physically in my arms is almost too much to bear. I often cry at the thought of missing Him so gravely. Oh the joy I will experience when I can see His face that first time!

“God! I love You so much! I am crazy about You! The pain! It hurts! Please God! Let me hold You! I just want to see You!” I cry and get mad and sad, my spirit quiets, and I sob. How could He make Himself so wonderful and woo me and make me love Him so much and then I can’t even hold Him tight?

But it is times like this when I say, “Oh God forgive me. I do behold You. I do see You. I can hold You and hug You and kiss You. Here You are Lord: in the eyes of my Aunt, in the embrace of her arms, in the extravagance of her love…ah…there you are God.”

Best Friends, Coffee and Jesus

2008-08-17T12:01:00.002-05:00

Kasii and I were out drinking coffee at a charming Dunn Bros by my place in the warehouse district of downtown Minneapolis. I was rambling as usual and she was lovingly listening as usual. She is one of those friends that you could go out with a million times over and on the one millionth and one time you still have so much to say to each other. It is the best, considering one of our favorite things is conversation.
Among other things, towards the end of our conversation we talked about Jesus; what an interesting individual. In my last blog I wrote about how He seemed to always get it right. How did he have the authority to love someone and call them out on their shit at the same time? I love the story of the woman at the well in John, chapter 4. Please go and read it if you are not familiar. Jesus is brilliant! He dialogs with the Samaritan woman. He is showing compassion and love just by talking to her as it was taboo to talk to a woman and a Samaritan one at that. He talks to her about her life and totally calls her out on the fact that she has her 5th lover, who is not her husband, at home in her bed. She was so transformed by this encounter that she went back and told everyone she knew that she had met the Messiah and that it was Jesus of Nazareth.
What about the woman caught in the act of adultery in John chapter 8? Jesus saved her from being stoned for her sin with the most glorious line in history (you will have to read it, I won’t spoil it for you first timers) and then tells her to leave her life of sin!
As a Christian I often get caught in the tension of that age old one liner, “love the sinner, and hate the sin.” What does that even mean? How can you truly love someone while you hate what they do? Our Pastor is preaching a series right now called “Loveable.” It is more or less about why people love Jesus, but don’t so much love the church. In his first message he tackled the “love the sinner…” phrase. We have kinda blown it was the gist.
I don’t think I’m alone in wondering in amazement about what this simple enough phrase means. If all you do is love someone and never address the issues they are dealing with, are we just sugar coating and scared? What if by loving and accepting you slip into condoning? Are we supposed to condone and tolerate? I have often thought if you love someone as you are called to do by Jesus Himself, can we not just rely on the Holy Spirit for the transformation of that individual?
There have been so many messages of hate sent out there by Christians who are so misguided. People have passed so much judgment on others. I would die before I would do any of that. So maybe I do tip toe a bit more than I should. I am just so passionate to recover and restore that sometimes I don’t know what to do. All this rambling leads me right back to Jesus. He didn’t seem to have this problem. He had such beautiful timing.
As Kasii and I were discussing this we brought up how He did not act of His own accord or will. One thing I mentioned in our conversations is how in Mark chapter 1 we see that Jesus woke up while it was still dark out to go and pray. Kasii responded that it was the ache He had inside for His people and world that He had to go and kneel before the Father in prayer. I thought to myself, how marvelous! Jesus lived with the ache from the tension of being in the world, but not of it everyday of his life! He longed for heaven yet He knew He was called to rescue and recover humanity. Therefore, from the moment He opened His eyes in the morning His heart couldn’t do anything but kneel before the Father in prayer. The pain and the ache were overwhelming.
That is when it hit me. I understand a little more of Jesus, because I think that He now understands a little more about me and because I can find part of my story in His story. As mentioned in my last blog, I often live in the tension of a world so beautiful yet so ugly. My Aunt often says to me, “Ri, you want to live in the garden [of Eden].” The thing is, we are not in the garden, even though we were made for it. So of course our souls that were made for beauty are grieved by darkness and evil.
The life, death and resurrection of Jesus inaugurated God’s restoration of humanity. However, right now we are in the middle of what theologians call, “the already and not yet.” God’s project humanity has begun, but we have not been fully restored. That time is coming. I long for the Spirit that Christ had inside of Him; I long to be more like Jesus everyday of my life. I need to take His cues. I need to see how He lived and made it through as powerfully as He did. As people of God we are all called to be like Jesus and all that He encompassed. Wow! How tremendous! It certainly is no easy task, but I am up for the challenge! I have to be!!!

Coffee Jesus Painted with coffee and tea.
Painted by Peter Youngblood and Troy Picou of Grand Rapids, MI.

No Longer a Child

2008-08-16T00:25:00.002-05:00

I was at a beautiful Irish pub in downtown Minneapolis, sharing a beautiful evening with my husband Matt. Neither of us are big drinkers, but a friend of his introduced him to Ace Pear Cider which he fell in love with. I rather enjoy it too. We asked for the Cider but unfortunately they did not have it. We asked for a suggestion from the waitress. She told us of a different cider which she then brought over right away. As she left I realized that she did not I.D. me or my husband! I am 25 and I have not been asked for I.D.! I was kind of bummed. Am I finally at the point in my twenties when waitresses no longer have to wonder about if I am legal drinking age or not? I suppose it was safe to assume that my husband and I were over 21, but it got me to thinking. I am no longer a teenager. I am in my mid twenties and 5 years from 30. Time is marching on with no regards to waiting for me.
I once heard a 20 something say that when he hit 30 he wanted to be able to look back on his 20’s and know that he did something significant; that his childhood dreams had materialized in someway or at least they had gotten their start. At 25 what had I seriously accomplished that haunted me in my younger years and even college years? What commitments had I stayed true to? You 40 and 50 year olds that might be reading this right now are probably chuckling thinking I have my whole life to accomplish something; that at 25 I shouldn’t be so worried about not having made some mark in the world. I say that because I have gotten that reaction before. The thing is, I don’t just want life to happen to me, I want to go out and grab it and own it! Not in a way that is selfish or void of my God, but in the respect that I know what it is I am supposed to do in the world; therefore, I go and do it! Simple enough it would seem however, harder than I ever thought.
You only get one shot at this thing called life and I refuse to have an ordinary one. Not that ordinary is bad, but it is certainly not for me. That train of thought it what got me started in the first place. What does extraordinary look like for a 25 year Christian, charismatic, woman in the 21st century? More importantly what should it look like? My peers claim a postmodern outlook. After all, that is what historians have called our generation; Unitarian, Universal, Ecumenical and Accepting. Although postmodernity is this “cool” buzzword that has been claimed over my age group, I am not apart of any such category. Postmodernity means that one does not believe in any great Metanarrative or overarching story of life. There is no great structure to the cosmos and everyone creates their own truth.
I have seen churches claim postmodernity in their valiant attempts in being relevant. Unfortunately, watering down the strong message of Christ is the process. There have also been churches that have done the absolute opposite by completely retreating to fundamental conservativism, isolating them while sending a harsh message of intolerance and condemnation. I have been grieved by both pendulum swings. There has to be something in between that gets it right. Jesus got it right. He was so relevant and personal, yet extremely subversive. There are few that can achieve that combination. Yet somehow, thank God, the Holy Spirit works through all our mess ups.
Do you ever notice how all the bad stuff about Christianity always gets the press?! Any kind of scandal or heresy always makes the evening news and morning headlines. Yet the reality of God that is happening all around the world never breaks through the air waves. I can turn on the television and see a preacher asking for $1,000 faith pledges any time of the day, but why can’t I hear a about a person being raised from the dead in Africa? Or the hungry being fed in Brazil? Or a brothel being busted up in India? Being a Christian, I think, is harder than ever. Or I should say being an evangelistic Christian is harder than ever. You have no idea the “Christians” other people have met before you. You have no idea the lies they have heard or the hurts they have experienced. They have already formulated their very strong and bitter opinions of you and your God. It is only through the work of the Holy Spirit that their ideas can be deconstructed and reconstructed. There has got to be a way to be relevant yet subversive.
A theology teacher of mine one posed the question first asked by Dietrich Bonhoeffer; “What is the difference between a humanitarian and a Christian?” I thought it was a very good and interesting question. What is the difference? One of the things I am most proud of my generation for doing is asking the question, “How can we help?” We are very concerned with the social justice piece. Not to mention the fact that, aside from the love of God, it is the most talked about issue and mandate in Scripture. We have seen the fruitlessness of harping on the abortion doctors and gay marriage supporters. What are we doing to help those in need within our communities and all around the world? However, anyone can do that; Not that it diminishes its significance and not that the Bible doesn’t say that the world will know the disciples of Jesus by their love for others. But as for me, I want to be able to feed the homeless man on the street, give him a shirt to wear and see his lame leg be healed in the name of Jesus Christ! I would say that is the difference. It is the supernatural piece. I yearn for it and am desperate for it. I know God can do it; He has done it and is doing it still.
So, at 25, that is what I long for. I am not content for it just to happen at some point in my life, nor is it something I will put on my “to do” list for when I am older. Time means lives and I don’t want to see anymore lost. At 25 I am finally starting to understand what N.T. Wright says about our world: “It is achingly beautiful and awesomely ugly[1].” I live in that tension everyday, as I’m sure many of you do as well; the beauty of God vs. the ugliness of the evil in this world. I suppose that is part of what Jesus meant when He talked about living in the world though we are not of it. Relevant, yet subversive.
Cider served at a pub without asking for an I.D., looking towards 30, what will my 20’s have been to God, the world and me?

[1] Wright, N.T. “The Bible and the Christian Imagination.” Lecture at Seatle Pacific University, 2005/05/19. Presents God's calling to creativity and the arts in the Christian community. President's Symposium on the Gospel and Cultural Engagement.

Postmodernism...what does that even mean: a basic deconstruction

2008-02-26T11:17:00.001-06:00

Postmodernism certainly seems to be the buzz word of the day lately. As a young adult, I have been to many presentations, workshops, etc on what people think postmodernism is. Speakers stand behind their podium and give their best attempt at defining postmodernity. However, the problem is, postmodernism cannot be defined. Postmodernism possesses nothing concrete that would classify as a distinction. The idea of postmodernity is completely abstract. It will not be caged by classification from the academy and historians, nor will the postmodern thought be formulized (no matter how hard one may try).
The truth is true postmodernists have no idea that they are such. They simply live. They live searching for tangible truth and something that they can wrap their minds and arms around. The postmodernist could not be anything less than true to themselves at their very core. They could never sell out to something they truly did not believe in with all of their being.
Premodernity was an era classified as just believing traditions that were handed down to you because that was what you believed. Not a whole lot of questions asked. If you were a Christian you took the Bible’s word for…or rather, you took the way tradition handed it to you word for it. Modernity was classified as the scientific age. Knowledge had certain criteria it had to meet before it was officially called knowledge. All knowledge had to be verifiable through the scientific method and truth had to be proved. Science quickly took center stage among the disciplines as theology sat on the back burner quickly evaporating. Now in the middle of what is called postmodernity, there is no such thing as truth whatsoever. There are no absolutes. It is all about what one experiences and their interpretation of the world.
All these things considered, as I take a look at my generation that has been classified with this peculiar term, I have come to the simple conclusion that we are no different than any other generation that has come before us. My generation does not have the patent on seeking truth for themselves and real relationships. They do not have the exclusive rights on desiring genuine experience. No matter what era you grew up in one way or another, we can all identify with this idea of postmodernity, essentially, searching through experience.
As simple as I have made this movement sound, it is nonetheless a movement labeled by the idea that there are no absolute truths. As Christians, this poses a “small” problem for us. How do we claim truth to someone who believes in no such thing as absolutes? There is a complete disconnect. What does a conversation like this even look like? How does one connect with a young postmodern of the 21st century?
Is it the word “postmodernism” that threatens or scares some of us? Do we lack the confidence to try and connect somehow to this thought pattern? The truth (no pun intended) is, if more of us had this thought pattern, our faith would be a lot stronger. People are not going to believe something just because they are told it should be so. They are going to go after it, test it and then if it proves true, they will own it with their lives! Furthermore, I have come to know God will always prove true to those who search for Him. Personally, I never want to simply adhere to a system of beliefs no matter what they are, Christian or not. I want to know it is truth for myself, out of my own experience. Experience is the very foundation of life for a true postmodern.
Postmodernity is not a just a passing fad for a mere generation. It is much bigger than that. It is the means for relationships and community and yes, I’m going to take it a step further: it is a means for finding God. It is nothing to be scared of, nor is it something to be ignorant of, nor is it something that we are not apart of in some way. After all, if we all looked deep inside of ourselves, most of us would identify with this way of filtering the world. After all, isn’t that what life is? Postmodern thought is simply a way of sifting through life, deciding what is real and what is not.

An Introduction: Story Theology

2008-01-21T13:31:00.000-06:00

As stated in my last blog, I write unapologetically. I, by no means, wish to offend and will not be crass or rude. However, if you feel I might be too ____ (you fill in the blank), then please give me the benefit of the doubt and know it is not my intention. One thing I will say about my writing is that it is honest. By no means is it without error, for it has human fingerprints all over it. My hope is that my story would connect with your story and that at some level, transformation would take place. Don’t let the fancy word in the title fool you. This is in no way, shape or form a theological brief. It is simply a story through which I have been transformed.
Story is such an amazing thing. The Bible is filled with them from cover to cover. In fact, the Word of God is one, great narrative. As the movie title states, it is “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” It is the beautiful story of redemption. I love that word redemption! God is so committed to the rescue and recovery of His creation. Always has been, always will be. Lucky for us, huh?
I have been transformed by that story. As a result, my story won’t ever be the same again! I encounter stories everyday that change and affect my story and reality. We just can’t escape the fact that stories are everywhere. From God’s, to mine, to yours. Stories enact on and change our realities more than we’d like to admit.
We bring all that we are to the table every time. Our past, our experiences, our passions, our curiosities, our pains, our joys, our traditions-in other words, our…stories (if you haven’t figured it out by now that is going to be the money word, hence the name of my blog)!
What you are (hopefully) about to read in my blog are simply realities that have been changed and as a result, shaped my theology (which is a never ending process mind you). Ew! There’s that word again, Theology! Not to fear! This word is much more user friendly than it appears! Now before you think I’m going to get all fancy and scholarly on you, I am going to do no such thing, so don’t tune out or stop reading. Theos=God and Logos=Word (in Greek). Most would simply say theology is the study of God. For me, theology is what we know of God and what we make of it. Simple enough right? I’m here to tell you that theology is not just for the theologian anymore. It’s a shame it ever was. Studying God is for everyone! How is God moving in the world? What do we know of God from His History? How does He feel about us? How do we feel about Him? What do we make of it all?
I am committed to keep my blogs reader friendly and that means relatively short. But in the next few blogs to come I am going to be writing about postmodernism and what that means. A whole generation has been defined by that word and so few of us understand it. Let’s unpack and talk about what it means for us and our spirituality. However, I did want to write more on this idea of story, because as you will see it is the premise for how I believe and why I believe. Looking forward to seeing you again…same time, same place.

The Survival of Truth

2008-01-18T17:35:00.000-06:00

No matter what I do or where I go, I cannot shake my heritage, nor do I want to. I will proudly state over and over again, I am an Italian from New York! Growing up on Long Island and being part of a big Italian family I used to think to myself, “how awful not to be born Italian!” The thing was, I really believed it! Part of the Italian heritage was being Catholic. My parents would bring me to mass every Sunday. I would take communion, say my Hail Marys and go to religion class every week. However, I couldn’t get over this one thing (even though so many others could pass the fact right by). I knew that when I stepped into church, there was something much bigger and better than myself inside. I had a sense of awe and wonder. I was not sure what it was, but I knew it was something. It had to be. Even though I did not know this God that I sensed personally, I took care to be reverent and fearful (in the only ways a child knows how I suppose). I would try and pray to this God when I needed something and I would always try to be kind and do the right thing. Little did I know I had such a long way to go on my quest for Truth.
Now it is so many years later in my life. I have grasped Truth, I have seen Truth. However, for me, and I am sure for a lot of others just like me, Truth is turning into a faint whisper. Where does one find truth? What is it? Does is constantly change? Or is it timeless and unwavering. Is there more than one truth? Which is the right truth if there is? So many questions that even churches are having a hard time answering.
In the midst of what historians are calling “Postmodernism,” there is no truth that exists. Truth is completely subjective and is different for each individual. No absolutes. No rules in which govern the world, space and time. Then we have “celebrity preachers” who will claim there might be possibly more than one way to God, other than Christ. While some may be free from scandal, there has been many a TV Preacher who has marred the Gospel in front of the world with their misuse and misunderstanding of what it means to be Kingdom of God. Whether it is prosperity that says, “God wants to see you rich!” or some Evangelical taking you to an emotional high that doesn’t deliver, it seems as if Truth has been trampled upon as if it were some commodity to be packaged, bought and sold.
Where is truth among $1,000 faith pledges and ranting pulpiteers? Where is truth among those who say there is no such thing? And where is truth among everything in between?
I write this unapologetically, not claiming to have the monopoly on perfection, holiness or sanctification, but rather as a young woman of God outraged at how her God has been portrayed. I write this as a young woman who knows the Truth and who has seen His face. I set out for Truth long ago and it has been quite the journey. I hope to give you a little piece of what I have found and invite you in on this journey of mine. My claim is not judgment, nor do I mean to slander. I am simply asking questions that I’m pretty sure others are asking as well. I invite you along with me on a journey I think you might be already on.